This too, is for your benefit

When my surgery was rescheduled I felt a sense of loss. Loss of time. Loss of opportunity. Loss of preparedness. And yet, there were a number of things that came up around the rescheduling that could be seen as gain. Thanks to the heroic efforts of Randy Eisenman and his powerful network of friends, I was able to get shortlisted for a second opinion at MD Anderson. I now have an appointment with Dr. John Ward III, a surgeon recommended to me by Dani Decell, CEO of Las Colinas Medical Center.

Right now, I'm thinking that in this loss there is gain. That all of this is somehow for my benefit and the benefit of those whose respond. If not for this disease, I would not have felt the outpouring of love and affection from so many people. My grandson Mac would not have been introduced to so many wonderful people offering him their wisdom. I would not have been able to reconnect with my good friend and colleague Cindy Wigglesworth or some old friends of our in the Woodlands this week. I would not have found the energy to complete the first draft of our book: The Source: A Journal of MIndful Relationship. (Copies for comment available upon request)

I am not really very concerned about legacy. That's just what people will say about me after I'm dead. And, well, I'll be dead so how will I know what people say:-) But I am concerned that people find a learning in their response to my situation. As you all read or contribute to this blog a certain kind of learning takes place. I'm grateful for that.

Right now my intention is to fight this thing. I have a number of things I want to get done before I check out. So I'm going to put every last bit of chi I have into surviving long enough to get them done. Or not.